So another phone call went into my business partner this morning. As I opened my puffed up eyes at around 11.30am, I knew there was no chance of my leaving my flat today....

I met the air stewardess at 6pm last night at a bar close to mine. As I said, she had driven up from Windsor so not sure what was going to occur.

Soon after we met there was clearly an attraction and the conversation was good. After an hour or so my dilema was to be foward and say if she fancies drinking, she can park the car at mine and stay over, me sleeping on the sofa of course or just play it out and see what happens. I went for the former telling her of a lively 2 for 1 cocktail evening on sundays at a local bar. She took the bait and my smile nearly turned to a childish giggle. She told me she had a flight at 11am the next morning so would have to leave very early. It just kept getting better...

We headed back to mine to drop her car off and as I opened up the gates to the flats I live in, one of the other lads that lives in the block was wandering about in the communal area. A few of us play football together so know one another well enough. As I ushered my date into a parking space, I asked what he was up to. Wrong move. He had just found out his best mate had been sleeping with his girlfriend of 2 years..Talk about awkward. Like I said, we know each other, but not that well. I was smiling like a Premiership footballer about to sign a new contract and he'd just blurted this out. Wish I hadn't asked.

As my date got out of her car, I invited him out with us - I had to really, but luckily he declined. Without sounding too harsh, thank f*ck. I was just about to get an air stewardess liquored up and who is staying at mine, I don't need her spending the night giving him advice. Its every man for himself in this situation....

Anyway, as he headed back up to his flat with an evident tear in his eye, I was also nearly brought to tears.....2 for 1 cocktails all night and a chance of sex with a hot stewardess. All on the sabbeth day. Hallelujah..

We started going through the cocktail menu at a fair pace. The bar was lively as it always is on sundays, playing 80's music to liven the spirits. We shared a little kiss early on and there was a whole lot of flirting evident. I knew it was in the bag, so on my next trip to the bar, I even stopped off for a little boogie to a Wham! number. I was just showboating now....

We ended up going through most of the menu, with a few shots chucked in for good measure and left the bar around 1am, really hammered. Strangely, I'm a good performer in the bedroom when totally wasted. On drugs, I've got more chance of scaling Everest than getting my little fella to work, but while drunk, I'm like Ron Jeremy..

We ended up having sex till sunlight was coming up, then I passed out till I came around at 11.30ish. She had left and I got up still very drunk, so her drive home couldnt have been pleasant. I checked my phone and she had left a message thanking me for a great evening and that she wasn't looking foward to her 10 hour flight to Denver. Ouch. I struggled to make it to my sofa, so a trip across the pond wouldnt have been fun.

I will definately be seeing her again. Got on really well and we had good sex. Not a bad combo. I've done no work today. My business partner should be getting irritated by my no shows, but he's loving the stroies which helps.

After 5 minutes of turning up last night I knew, and I'm sure she did, that we had nothing in common. It doesn't happen too often, but right from the off we were on completely different wave lenghts. She was a bit of a hippy type and seemed a little stoned. To be honest, after 30 minutes of conversation filler I was going to ask if I could have whatever she was on just to numb the awkwardness.

A couple of hours of inane chat and alot of time spent thinking about my exit strategy had passed by the time I could take no more. I politely said I had to be up early in the morning as I had some work to do and that was that. A perfectly charming girl, just not for me.

I have spoken to the air stewardess that I'm meeting tomorrow. We had a good laugh on the phone so I have high hopes. She lives in Windsor and is driving down to Clapham, so I ll have a fair idea early on of her intentions. If she starts drinking I know I maybe in for a good night.....

 

God knows, but it isn't the same planet as us, thats for sure.....

So last night I cooked that meal I had promised and entertained my internet friend, whom I'll refer to as Lucy....as thats her name.

After a couple of glasses of wine we got on the subject of internet dating and she told me this. Whenever she feels like going out for dinner, she'll just catch a few guys attention on the dating website then get the best of the bunch to take her out for dinner. A month or so ago, she had 8 dates in 9 evenings and didnt pay for a thing. Isn't that called prostitution???

Now I'm all for being a gentleman, but as I've said before, I think it says alot about a person if they don't even offer to put their hand in pocket. Also, I was under the impression that women wanted to be empowered and seen as equals? I guess that goes out the window when the bill arrives. Honestly, the Spice Girls and Sex and The City have alot to answer for. You can't have it both ways ladies...well I tried last night, but she wasn't having any of it.....

I'm starting to think this girl isn't all there, so I'll have to throw a curve ball soon I reckon.

I'm out with the American girl tomorrow and a sunday evening date with the air stewardess. Both are meeting me in Clapham. I'm already starting to get very lazy. The whole travelling to meet what essentially is a blind date doesn't sit well with me... I had a girl from Walsall wanting to come down to stay for the weekend. One, we might not get on and two, listening to a brunnie accent for 72 hours - no chance...

Everytime I've been on the dating site in the last couple of days to see who's shown me any interest, I get a text from friday night's date asking what I'm doing online. Showing all the signs of a bunny boiler.....but she's got great titties, so I'm seeing her again tomorrow night. I said I'll cook for her. I've come to realise already that this dating scene will cost me a fortune, so I think a few home cooked meals and a bottle or two of wine will help stem the cash flow.

I've also set up dates with a 35 year old American girl - I'm a sucker for US chicks and an air stewardess. They have a reputation so I'll be putting that to the test.

Now I've had a few dates, I'm getting more comfortable with the whole internet dating scene. Could even say its quite addictive. Nearly all my friends are settled down and I had a text from one the other day which read " We're all living our lives through you now - you do know that?".... Oh to be married and have kids....

 

Well, me anyway. Managed my first sexual encounter from internet dating last night - finally seeing some return on my membership fee...just kidding.

So the evening was a success. We had a decent meal up in the West End, went to a club then back to mine for some drunken slap and tickle. My last memory was the sun rising this morning with my ipod still playing Boyz 11 Men. If that doesn't blow her mind, I'm out of ideas......

When we woke up early afternoon, I realised just how selfish I have become living on my own. I literally couldn't get her out the flat fast enough. I even walked her to the bus stop, taking my laptop with me as I told her I had to go into the office. As soon as the bus pulled away, I went straight back between the sheets. Bliss - a day of rest and after a night of sex......

She is a sweet, attractive girl, but there is definately an air of desperation about her - I could almost hear the clock ticking as I fumbled about with her bra, but some regular jiggy jiggy wouldn't go amiss...

I'm going to sleep this horrendeous hangover off now and plan my next week out tomorrow. I've been chatting to a few other girls online so will for sure arrange to meet up with a couple next week. My confidence is increasing and I feel like I'm getting back into the swing of this dating scene.....

 


 

I've been having some email chat with my date from saturday and she told me this - "You are the type of guy who is Mr Right now, not Mr Right"

Is that good or bad? Does this mean she wants to have a fling with me then discard me like a bad smell or she wants to be the one to turn me into Mr Right?.  I guess we ll find out over the coming weeks.....

She also sent a text asking me why I had been logged onto the dating website today - basically it tells you whether other members are online. She put a smiley face at the end of the message, but that screams nutter to me.  Oh well, I just pray I'm still alive come saturday morning after our second meeting.....

I didn't quite have the balls to ring her, so did it the cowards way and sent a grovelling text. Unbelievably after a little bit of text banter, she has agreed to meet up next friday and give me a second chance, from the same starting position this time though....

I think I owe it to her to have a week off the booze and turn up relaxed and sober on friday....Here goes....

This applies to all dates, but especially the first. Never ever meet when you're hammered and she is sober - it ll never be a pretty outcome. I knew this but thought I'd run the risk.

By the time my date came to join us in Clapham at around 9, myself and friends had been drinking and doing other perishables for a few hours. The rate of chat had got to such a level, no one was pausing for breath. My jaw was now out of control and pupils getting bigger by the minute. I was in a good place though. Not sure my date was going to be too impressed....

To be fair, I managed to hold it together fairly well while initially chatting to her and her frineds, but it would all go down hill rapidly. By the time we arrived at the bar opening, I was coming up on a couple of pills and was on a totally different planet. I managed to get a one on one with my date which probably wasnt the best idea and her comments on me were - you seem like a player and although you have denied it to my friend, you're on drugs. My word how observant women can be. I always take it when a woman says player, that basically means she is attracted to you, so if I could just sort out my grinding jaw issues, it may get back on track...

As I looked round, all my friends were sat at the same table but clearly on different levels. Luckily my brother was in there relatively sober and endeavoured to entertain her and her friends for a while.

I'd now caught the attention of another girl, and she joined us at our table. I was so out of it and ended up kissing her in full view of everyone. As I got up to go to the bar, my date came over, kissed me too and then slapped me round the face. I think it was a see what your missing you t*sser type thing. That was the last I saw of her unsuprisingly and to be fair by the time a few of us headed back to mine for an after party in the early hours, I'd totally forgotten she'd even turned up.

That, for sure, will be the first and last date I turn up on in that state. Not a great idea. I quite fancied her too, so think I will contact her to see the damage. I'm sure she won't pick up, but if you don't buy a ticket....

 

 

 all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.

I had a text from the doctor yesterday but have ignored it so far. Me, like most men, am not very good at confronting awkward situations with women. I see it as we only met a couple of times so don't really owe her any explanation about why we should'nt meet again - I wouldnt expect one.

Onto the next. Tonight's date is an attractive dark haired 30 year old who has returned from living in New York just recently. She'll be heading down with some friends in the evening, at which point I should be well on my way as a few of us are starting early...they'll be some drama, for sure....

I'm not sure if I'm still drunk or still in shock. That whole second chance thing - scrap it. Always go with your gut instinct, its invariably right...

Out went the coat, in came the thigh high boots, mini dress and some bizarre waist coat. As she first walked up to me I didnt know whether to kiss her cheek or ask her how much for a rub and tug! My heart dropped and I was like a startled rabbit caught in the headlights. My first thought was I'll have to get very, very drunk to get through the evening. I couldn't make my excuses and leave as she had travelled to see me. A few years ago I would have, but my conscience has annoyingly grown.


I walked her rather swiftly to a bar I never frequent and settled in for the evening. No chance was I taking her into the thick of the action for fear of seeing anyone I know. We both got fairly wasted and I was doing a few sneaky shots at the bar out of her eye sight just to lower my embarrassment of sitting with a near on street walker that much quicker.

I honestly don't get that an intelligent thirty two year old doctor didn't take one look in the mirror before she headed out and thought, I'm not sure this outift works. I'm no fashion icon, , but her get up really was for a fancy party and nothing else.

We still had a drunken snog at the end of the night before I bundled her into a taxi...as it pulled away, I knew our paths would not cross again..with any luck....