I'm nervous about tonight. She is venturing over to Clapham and I'm worried about the outfit she'll be in. If its anything like last week, I'll have to take her somewhere very low key so I don't get spotted out with my very own female "Bruno". I'm almost regretting arranging this now and I've gone and arranged another date this week that has disaster written all over it.

On friday, there is a new bar opening and I have tickets to get in. Some friends from my City days are taking a half day and we're planning on a rather boozy lunch with some extras, if you get my drift. I've now invited a new date and some of her friends along for the evening - I did this whilst still very drunk from the night before over the weekend. I make alot of bad decisions when under the influence. Anyway, its all fun, so let the games commence.....

 

 There is very little that irratates me more than when your date doesn't even attempt to offer to buy a round of drinks....especially when taken to a pretentious, over priced bar in Chelsea. Don't get me wrong, I ll generally pay for most of the evening when out and about, but I also think you can tell alot by the way a person behaves with money. Even the offer shows some form of generousity, but expectance says to me she will be a princess and get out toute suite..

The date was short and sweet. We went to a bar full of pompous, silver spooned thirtysomethings, all of whom I'm guessing were oblivious to the credit crunch as the expensive champagne was flowing like water. My date was very attractive, but the constant name dropping turned her ugly. How she had been on set with George Clooney - "He's definately gay", an advert with David Beckham - "He's having loads of affairs" Jayz asked for her number and it rolled on.....

After 3 rounds of drinks costing nearly 60 GBP, and this inane celebrity chat, I made my excuses and left.  I headed back to Clapham and met up with a few mates who took delight in my disasterous evening.

The first week of internet dating has taught me this - I think alot of chaff is coming my way before I find the wheat.  Anyway I'm off to enjoy the rest of my weekend.....

 


 

 would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

So friday has come around and the third of my dates is hours away. I have arranged a second date with "The Coat" next tuesday, but havent had any contact with date number 2. Its a tricky one - I liked her but not enough to see it going anywhere. The dilema is if I leave it, will she feel like a sl*t for staying over on the first night and going to work with the same clothes on or if I contact her, It'll be hard to get out of the conversation without arranging another meet.

At 33 I still have no idea the workings of a female mind, so being a male, I ll shy away from confrontation and let fate take its natural course...

Tonight I am meeting a 37 year old make up artist from Sloane Square. I very rarely date anyone older than me, but its purely because she looks great in her profile pictures - nothing deeper than that.

Enjoy your friday evening....



 

 I had to ring my business partner this morning to let him know there was no chance of me making it into the office. Its gone midday and I'm still not fully functional.....the first sickie of many I think...

I met my date after work and we went to a local cocktail bar that conventiently has 2 for 1 on all cocktails until 8pm on a tuesday. Rude not to indulge really and that we did. She wasn't a knock out, but fairly attractive and my preconceptions of the festival loving earthy type were completely wrong - born and bred in Brixton with a south London accent and a love for mixing cocktails on an empty stomach it seemed.

We moved onto a bar with a beer garden at around 10 and by this stage, we were both fairly lively. We ended up chatting to a few other groups on the long table we were all sat at and I instigated an arm wrestling competition - this is something I do alot recently when drunk and I have no idea why. I'm scared of my own shadow most of the time, so not sure what this little fad is all about. Hopefully it will pass soon enough.

Anyway, with this going on and my date drunkenly chatting to randoms, I found myself on another table with a couple of other girls, one of whom was showing some interest.  I managed to swap numbers without too much attention being drawn and I was off into the darkness, tripping over a handbag and falling into the bench I was supposed to be at.....the perfect getaway....

Now I was back with my date and we somehow communicated enough to move onto another bar. By this point we were both on our last legs. It was 1ish and we'd been drinking without food since 5. Not ideal and she had matched me all the way. We then started kissing like teenagers which is a sure sign for me that I'm too drunk - I hate PDA. Really hate it. She suggested coming back to mine and we literally stumbled into a taxi and headed home.

She woke me this morning in a real panic at 7 saying she couldn't be late for work...it was her first week at a new job!!! Good girl. Takes some going to get that drunk two days into your new career.

Nothing happened between us as we both woke fully clothed. I'm pretty glad as we were so inebriated.

What I am suprised at is both dates having been up for a bit of "fun" on the first night. I've been out of the dating scene for a while but guessing this may have something to do with the Sex and the City affect. I always thought that show had alot to answer for with the complete over the top empowerment of women, but if this is what its turned them into, maybe I'll purchase the boxset.......

I'm off now to eat, drink water and hopefully get rid of this headache. Hangovers aren't getting any easier, but with my dating schedule, they ll become more regular for sure.

Oh, my first date text to say she would like to meet up again. I'm going to as I feel like the coat could have been a curve ball. Everyone deserves a second chance, although if she turns up in that again, it will be 2 strikes and you're out....

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man.....

I had a good sleep last night so feeling in top shape for the date later on. I'm meeting her 5 mins from my office so nice and local. 

She is 26 and in recruitment. Seems to like her festivals so she's either a middle class girl who enjoys her live bands or is an "earthy" type who hangs around with white blokes sporting dreadlocks....I'm hoping the former.

I'll let you know how it went tomorrow, so for now I ll leave this bit of advice for all you ladies:

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again........

So, fresh from my first internet date, I bring you the run down.

I was no more than 100 metres away from the bar we were meeting in, two minutes late, when my mobile went. It was my date checking to see where I was. I thought it was a bit unnecessary, but I was nearly there so had no time to get irritated. Once I'd put the phone back in my pocket, I was outside the bar....

As I walked in and scanned the area, I instantly saw my date. To be fair, I couldn't ruddy miss her. She had a coat on that looked like she'd just come from a scrap in Kensington Gardens with a gaggle of geese and clearly came out on top. It was a huge white feathered thing, something straight out of a Sue Pollard wadrobe. Welcome to the world of internet dating....

One thing I'm never stuck for is words, so the conversation flowed freely and she was a chatty, intelligent girl...or so I thought. The talk moved onto internet dating and I told her this was my first - popping my cherry as it were. She'd been trying it for a few months now and what I didnt understand was she was on 3 different sites. You would have seen the adverts for the site we got talking on as its the biggest - something like 1 million members. Now alarm bells started ringing as I thought if a catchment area of 500,000 (working to a 50% boy/girl ratio) isn't enough, she must have some serious flaws. Call me egotistical, but I'd like to think 1 in every half a million girls would be attracted to me! Anyway, I asked her about previous dates, all had been no more than nice guys, apart from one...

She went on a first date with an Investment banker and liked him so they arranged a second. He took her to a decent restaurant in the centre of London and all was going well until over dessert he asked her this question- "Would you ever date a postman". Her response was I think fair enough and she dipolmatically said being a doctor, probably wouldn't have too much in common. His response was a little over the top. He stood up, flipped the table over and called her a f*ckin wh*re, then walked out and left her with the bill and a bit of chocolate gateau on her dress. I sarcastically asked if she thought he was a postman and with a straight face, she was still genuinely convinced he was a banker. There is a reason she's on 3 sites after all....

We had a few more drinks and then took a stroll down the Kings rd to find another bar. It was around 10'ish now and she insisted she was hungry. Eating formally on a first date isn't my thing. The restaurant we were stood outside while contemplating where to go was a candle lit affair and thats not how I roll. I told her I know a good place to eat locally and took her to an American sports bar. She was less than impressed, but I was far more comfortable. After an hour or so we left to call it a night. We were both a little tipsy and although I've had my fair share of dating experiences in the past, wasn't quite sure how you finish it all up on an internet date. Do I kiss her, say I ll email/call her or do the normal and try and get her back. She made my mind up for me and asked if I wanted to head back to hers. Not sure if its my age and I'm finally getting a conscience, being new to internet dating or that it was a sunday night but I declined and said we should go out again soon. I'm not sure I meant it at the time, but reflecting on it I probably will - she was attractive and a decent conversationalist, lets just hope that jacket doesn't make another appearance!

The lesson I have learnt from the first liaison is don't tell the girl that you have other dates lined up. I could see it didnt sit well with her when I mentioned I had two more this week. They say honesty is the best policy....but not in this case. A girl likes to feel special and knowing that you are schmoozing other local ladies isn't the way to do that.

I have another date tomorrow so will keep you posted.....