When I came across The Stripping Nurse’s profile on Match.com my first thought was that he was way out of my league. To put it simply, he was beautiful. Tall, blonde, blue eyed and had a body that could make angles cry. When I picked my jaw up off the floor I reluctantly sent him an email not sure of the response I would receive, if any. Low and behold, he actually responded. He seemed to be a decent guy and not the egotistical manwhore that I was expecting. He worked as a nurse by day and a stripper by night (how very super hero-ish). I thought it a rather random combination at the time but then again, it was a crime to keep that beautifully sculpted body covered up.

We decided on meeting for dinner. Being the adventurous one I decided to drive out to his place which was about 45 minutes away. I would have ridden a bicycle to New York if it meant getting to rub up against this fine example of perfection. Upon first glance, he was just as gorgeous in person as in any photo I had seen. Although, I wasn’t quite able to read his reaction in regards to me. He looked neither happy nor disappointed. But, I was hungry and hopeful so off to dinner we went.

Since I wasn’t that familiar with the restaurants in his area he suggested that he drive. That is where his charm started to wear off. Now that I think about it, he never really had much charm to begin with. Even before we met face to face I was so distracted by his six-pack and biceps that I hardly noticed his underdeveloped personality. When he pulled into the McDonald’s parking lot, I noticed. In disbelief, I turned to him and suggested if we could go somewhere a little more, oh I don’t know, less fast foodish? He may not have been enamored with me but since we had already resigned ourselves to dinner and I had just driven 45 minutes to “The 909” would it have killed him to hit up a Denny’s?

His conversational skills were in desperate need of help and he was about as fascinating as watching the evolution of the rock. I talked to myself for about an hour and when I was done we headed back to his place. Realizing that he was not indeed my Prince Charming I tucked my tail between my legs and headed home. For the gazillionth time (this wasn’t the first or the last) I tried to tell myself that perhaps I should think twice before gallivanting across Southern California just to meet a nicely sculpted physique and pretty face. I had even shaved my legs in the hopes of getting my own personal show. Male Reviews can get expensive with having to find al those dollar bills and all. I’ve been known to run out of 1’s and start shoving larger bills into the g-strings of stripping Gods just to get close. True, I’m about as shallow as a rain gutter when it comes to the opposite sex but I just can’t seem to help myself. The night was a complete bust but they can’t all be great.

To my surprise, a few weeks later The Stripping Nurse Instant Messaged me apparently trying to land himself a Booty Call. Suddenly, he was outgoing and flirtatious. If only he had been that way when we first met. But I tend to bore quickly so I had already moved on to my next online victim. Unfortunately for him, being the true Sagittarius that I am, once you’ve lost my attention it’s very rare that you will ever get it back. Besides, if I was looking for a Booty Call I sure as hell would pick one a lot closer to home. However, one thing is for certain, I guess you could say he didn’t consider me quite the troll I thought he initially might have. Unless, he typically makes it a habit of trying to bed trolls. I know men that have screwed worse.