…that is the question. Over the years, I’ve had great debates revolving around online dating etiquette. There are those that prefer to receive responses to their emails regardless of outcome and those that don’t. I fall into the latter category.

I myself prefer not to be responded to if the other party is uninterested. If I were to email somebody and get nothing in return I’m going to get the hint. If you don’t like me, so what? I don’t need a reason because you aren’t important enough for me to care. And vice versa. If I don’t respond to you, for you to keep hounding me is going to really piss me off. In which case, I’m definitely not going to go out with you because frankly, you are creeping me out and smelling more desperate than an alcoholic at one of my family functions.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve heard people argue that it’s common courtesy. Ok, I’ll buy that. Using that same logic, I should also be responding to every email I get telling me I have just won the British lottery. If my days were 45 hours long then sure, I’d respond to every Tom, Dick, Harry and the occasional Nancy, but they’re not. Also, I don’t know Tom, Dick, Harry and Nancy and therefore owe them no explanations. While I’m sure they took time out of their day to write me an exquisitely crafted email asking me my weight and breast size I don’t think it’s necessary to tell them A) its none of their damn business and B) NO, I don’t have any more pictures to send them.

Really, how many answers are you going to get explaining why someone doesn’t want to go out with you? Their opinions of you have been solely based on a “picture and a paragraph” (about the only statement I find useful or truthful from Mr. Eharmony). So, think about it. They either think you are ugly or they think you are stupid. End of story.

If you ask me (I’m going to assume you did because I’m always right), contacting the unresponsive party again and again is just an excuse to try and engage them into some sort of communication in the hopes that that person will eventually see the light and realize how truly fabulous you may be.

I bring up this little tangent because I had this situation come up recently and it got me thinking. I received an email from a guy that was interested in me. It was a nice and pleasant email but truth be told I was simply not interested. I’m sure he was a great guy but I was highly unattracted to him. So, as is my usual practice in such situations, I ignored him. I didn’t want to come across as rude or hurt his feelings and I really didn’t think it necessary to tell him I thought he resembled Dom Deluise. But who knows? Perhaps that was exactly what he was looking for. He’s probably a fan of golden showers and being spit on too.

After I didn’t respond to his initial email, I received this:

“You can be honest I thought I wrote you a nice email what happened??”

To which I decided to respond because apparently "wballstar" was a glutton for punishment. He was also a big fan of the question mark but not so much a fan of periods or commas.

“Thanks for the email. I’m not interested.”

Apparently, that was not a good enough answer. I thought that telling him I was not interested was pretty straight forward. However, he again pushed the issue.

“Can I ask you why you put a profile on here to meet guys and you see I would like to talk you no, how come??? What’s wrong with me?”

At this point, I was seriously beginning to wonder about this guy...and his grammar. Why push the issue? I was pretty clear about not being interested. Was it really necessary for me to tell him I thought he was fat, ugly and balding? That I didn’t care for his goatee or that he lived in Long Beach and I was looking for someone a littler closer? I was torn in that I could have been perfectly blunt and completely within my rights to be so since he kept pushing me for an answer. What part of “I’m not interested” did he not understand? But, I was trying to be tactful and spare his feelings since he was incapable of understanding the written English language. I must have been bored or just plain irritated because I responded once more.

“I put a profile on here to meet people, yes. I am not however interested in meeting you.”

Now, I figured that if he hadn’t gotten the point before that this would surely point out the fact that I was never going to go out with him. I got this in return:

“So I guess your all that and a bag of chips huh lol!! Good luck to you. ‘The world needs more people like you’”

Two things here about his Custer’s last stand. One, he’s right. I do think I’m all that and a bag of chips. Two, I whole heartedly agree with that last sentence he quoted. The world does need more people like me. I’m fucking rad. Except, I didn’t get the feeling he was trying to compliment me. His sarcasm was not amusing. This was about the oddest backhanded insult I had ever received. I was not only irritated with him but I was irritated with myself for having spent so much time on this lonely asshole. Having been provoked and feeling the need to have the last word, I wrote back one last time.

“Yes, I do think I’m ‘all that and a bag of chips.’ Now stop bothering me.”

Upon replying, I realized I had actually gotten suckered into engaging in a communication with a person that I was clearly never going to meet face to face. Now do you realize how much time I would have saved if I had just done what I always do and simply not responded? By responding to him I only opened the door for more questions that did not need to be answered. His constant barrage of emails did make me want to meet him…if only to kick the ever loving shit out of him for wasting my time and being weird and pathetic.