People that claim to have MBA’s yet can’t figure out basic grammar or how to spell. Case in point, I was emailed by a guy that said he had graduated from Harvard and did undergrad at the University of Texas yet didn’t believe in periods and randomly ended and started paragraphs on a whim. Sure you graduated from Harvard, honey.
- Text speak in an email. Is it really that much more effort to write out “you” as opposed to “u”? Also, correct me if I’m wrong but “kool” or “kewl” is in no way saving you energy over just writing “cool”.
- Under “What type of relationship” listing “Hang Out”. What the fuck is that? When you have the option of using “Friends”, “Dating” or “Intimate Encounter” in case you aren’t interested in “Long Term” why use “Hang Out”? Does that mean you want to bring over a 6-pack of beer and play X-Box? Either way, I’m not interested in “hanging out”.
- Put your fucking shirt back on. Seriously. I for one can fully appreciate a well chiseled gentleman but come on, the cheese factor alone makes me want to gag. Especially if I’ve given you my cell number and you bombard me of pictures of you in the bathroom with a towel around your waist. When I want to see your pecks, I’ll let you know.
- Profiles that rival a Harlequin romance yet when you actually get to emailing or talking with them on the phone the deepest thing that comes out of their mouth is the benefits of using the Jackhammer position in bed. Charming.
- One picture posted…with 2 people in it. Who the fuck are you? I can only hope that the profile belongs to the attractive one and not the one that is playing wingman. Nine times out of 10, the profile belongs to the short wingman that needs to iron his shirt.
- What’s with all the personal trainers? I’m not sure if this is a geographical thing as I do live in North Hollywood but if I want somebody to teach me how to lung and do pull ups I’ll contact one. I’m on a dating website to find a date, not someone I have to pay to hurt me.
- Along the lines of the personal trainers. Why do they all contact ME? At first, I just assumed that since I’m curvy they wanted my business. However, that seems to be far from the case. They all swear to like a woman with a little meat on their bones. WTF?
- Nuvaring commercials. Not in any way related to online dating yet important enough for me to share with you how much I hate their commercials. If I hear that fucking song “Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday…” I’m going to go postal. And btw, I’m perfectly content using condoms or the pill. The idea of shoving something up my cooch, leaving it in for 3 weeks then pulling it back out is in no way an appetizing thought for me.
- Never trust the profile of someone that is smoking hot yet only seems to have one or two pictures. Both headshots or model pics. Sometimes, these pictures may actually be blurry as well. Trust me, if you’re hot you are going to have a gazillion and one self portraits posted. Shit, there are people that shouldn’t even own cameras that have at least three or four pictures of themselves up.
- Please don’t email me in all CAPS. You could have written the theory of relativity and I’m still going to think you are an idiot because you are still YELLING AT ME!
- When people scan and post their driver’s license pictures. Really? In this day and age that was the best you could come up with? REALLY?
- People that are “Separated”. In the eyes of God and the law, you are still technically married. You shouldn’t be looking for a date. Perhaps that’s why you are separated in the first place. Ever consider that?
That’s it for now. I’m easily irritated and highly judgmental so I’m sure this list will grow. As soon as I think of anything more I’ll be sure and let you know.
Tell me…what bothers you???
P.S. On a side note, just as I finished writing this I received an email from a guy named “RoBeRT *SwAg Is On PoINt*” and his email was in all CAPS. Seriously folks, I can’t make this stuff up.
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