46 years old; MARRIED man; seeking a discreet sexy affair aka arrangement; wife, couple of kids; successful entrepreneur; black porsche turbo; private number plate (should read DICK!); no photo for obvious reasons and some!
Mr Arrangement's Profile
Describing Myself: I am an intelligent, outward going, with straw blonde hair /blue eyes and 6' tall firstly please excuse me if I make a hash of this. I love going to the movies, restaurants, pubs, but also like to stay in and cook a nice meal along with a good bottle of wine and chill. In the Summer I love a long glass of Pimms on a warm evening whilst out with friends Hit all my goals in life now looking for a sexy discreet affair. I enjoy sports playing, travel, good food in hot places. The type of person I am looking for should be able to hold good conversation on most subjects and be good fun to be with I am looking for my lover and best friend. I want to find someone who is compatible, wants what I want and has the energy, attitude and zest for life that I do.
The Date
I was rather taken a back by Mr Arrangement's email communication with me. He loved my profile and pictures and felt so sure I was the ideal candidate for his little arrangement that he is so desperately seeking. He is married and has a family but is missing that certain excitement in his life. His profile claims that he has "met all his life goals". I informed him in no uncertain terms that he was in a mid life crisis and should work on his marriage and that I for one was not that kind of girl. Or am I? I suddenly thought...all in the name of research. He made it quite clear he will never leave his wife of 17 years and claimed to have never been unfaithful until now. He has made the decision to have an affair, well an arrangement, as he likes to call it, with someone who sparks his interest both in and out of the bedroom. I ask him to elaborate Mr Arrangement bluntly explains that he is looking for someone to meet for lunches and spend a few hours in bed passionately making love in the afternoons (yuk...cringe...!) Mmm....I tell him he seems so sure of what he wants and his demands so what's in it for me? A corporate pen and T' shirt? Theatre tickets? Envelope of cash? Where's the mutual benefit I'm thinking? I also inform him that there a plenty of avenues for this type of arrangement that he could explore...prostitutes...escorts...oh no Mr Arrangement couldn't possibly do that he tells me - he needs more...he couldn't just hop into bed with someone he has no connection with. He wants more from his mistress...conversation and compatibility! Mmm...I'm sure he does. So reluctantly I agree to meet him for lunch. I arrive to find Mr Arrangement sat on the bonnet of his Turbo...oh par-lease...this is going to be horrendous! He is, I have to say, ugly, now I like to see the best in everyone but this guy is not a looker! I sense ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside. He is follicley challenged and is the wrong side of athletic and pretty pathetic, grinning like a cheshire cat at me from behind his ridiculous over-sized Rayburns, swaggering over his porsche and jangling his money in his over sized trouser pockets...as I saunter towards him, my butt cheeks clenched, Mr Arrangement whips off his shades and literally undresses me, dribbling at me from head to toe. I now recognise this is a dire scenario that I now need a swift exit from...we walk into the pub and I escape to the ladies to gain composure. And as I catch a glimpse of Mr Arrangement waddling off to the bar smug and arrogant and very married, I think you know what I've seen and heard enough. And you know something as I scarper past the shiny Porsche and away from Mr Arrangement I feel a sense of relief that he's not my husband...or my dad...or my anything...and as I send him a text message to say "Sorry but I know instantly if something will work and this won't" I feel an overwhelming comfort in being single and an even more overwhelming sense of relief that I will never allow myself to be that desperate that I would have to consider any sort of arrangement with a man. Still searching and more carefully than ever...