39 year old; single; writer; seeking long term relationship; witty emails exchanged; no telephone calls...
The Date
Mr "W" arrives in his Wange Wover! He is smartly dwessed and gweets me with a kiss on my cheek. He has a warm, fwiendly face and I instantly like him. Then he asks me if I would like a dwink? There is a moment of silence...whilst my mind computes what I am hearing. Ignore it...ignore it...my mind is scweaming at me! I am not prejudice or judgmental at all, and I am far from perfect. I guess because me and Mr "W" did not speak on the the phone ahead of our date and he failed to mention he does an expert impression of Jonny Wossy, I am slightly taken a back. My composure contained, Mr "W" walks off to the bar to order our dwinks, probably relieved that I didn't order a wed or wose wine, wodka with wed bull or wum and coke! White wine...perfect...straight forward. I must point out that I have an ability to put my foot in it, for example when I met my girlfriend's now husband for the first time, I opened the door and exclaimed "Oh my Gawd, are you alright, you look like you've been in a fight!?" He responded "No it's a birth mark" (He in fact has a small birth mark under his left eye, which could look like a black eye if you are a social cretin like me!") To claw back rapport from that opener was a task and half, that said I made it to their wedding so all must be forgiven! Anyhoo back to Mr "W"...we talk about his work and his writing (thank gawd he's not a high wanking officer in the Woyal Air Force I find my mind wondering!) His previous welationships have been successful but run their course and he is looking for the whole package. He is a lovely chap and very witty, actually he is hiwawious!!! He weally, weally makes me laugh!!! Having said that Wicky Gervais makes me laugh, as does Wussell Bwand but laughter alone is not enough for me, hey if laughter was the only answer to love and lust then Woody Allen wouldn't have had to marry his own daughter, now would he? As we say our farewells and Mr "W" clambers back into his Wange Wover and I wave him off feeling quite wivetted from his banter and tales, I sense that I am still searching eyes and ears weally wide open....