Email us at info@sexandthesickie.com with your amusing dating stories.
You know, it's really damned funny...
I've been doing the online dating thing off-and-on for about 18 months, since I work at home as an artist, it made sense. I have to say, however, that the female stereotypes about most men seem to be just as applicable to most women I've met... yes, there are very few decent men out there to date, I understand it, but not ALL of us are complete chowderheads. Really. I'm generally pretty cautious when I first meet a woman, and try to make it clear that I REALLY DO want to just hang out and shoot some pool for a bit, get to know them, that sort of thing. Holy Oke, Massachusetts -- ! Apparently that approach makes women try to mentally fit me for a tux and a baby-carrier within five minutes of meeting me, even though I make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I've taken myself out of the gene pool. I have had more women subtly try to turn me into a family man, there's the "Let's drop by Babies 'R' US, just for a sec"... bridal magazines left on the coffee table... steering me by the rings section of a department store... all this within a few weeks of dating. Dating! It's called DATING. Relax, ladies, if a man wants to marry you, he'll let you know.
...and hot-damnit, if I see one more ad that has some reference to "as comfortable in leather as I am in lace" or "can go from hiking boots to high heels in twenty minutes flat" or even "make me laugh so hard that (insert drink of choice) comes out of my nose" I'm gonna take a hostage, I swear. Do you ladies all get your ad copy from the same "Online Dating For Dummies" book? Crimeny... look, I feel for you, really. Loneliness is a drag, Hendrix said so, but folks, you have got to relaaax. I hate to use a hoary old cliche', but you really can't hurry love, you just have to wait.
Does this mean I've deleted my ad? Of coruse not, because I'm a danged hypocrite.
Matt, NY
I've been doing the online dating thing off-and-on for about 18 months, since I work at home as an artist, it made sense. I have to say, however, that the female stereotypes about most men seem to be just as applicable to most women I've met... yes, there are very few decent men out there to date, I understand it, but not ALL of us are complete chowderheads. Really. I'm generally pretty cautious when I first meet a woman, and try to make it clear that I REALLY DO want to just hang out and shoot some pool for a bit, get to know them, that sort of thing. Holy Oke, Massachusetts -- ! Apparently that approach makes women try to mentally fit me for a tux and a baby-carrier within five minutes of meeting me, even though I make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I've taken myself out of the gene pool. I have had more women subtly try to turn me into a family man, there's the "Let's drop by Babies 'R' US, just for a sec"... bridal magazines left on the coffee table... steering me by the rings section of a department store... all this within a few weeks of dating. Dating! It's called DATING. Relax, ladies, if a man wants to marry you, he'll let you know.
...and hot-damnit, if I see one more ad that has some reference to "as comfortable in leather as I am in lace" or "can go from hiking boots to high heels in twenty minutes flat" or even "make me laugh so hard that (insert drink of choice) comes out of my nose" I'm gonna take a hostage, I swear. Do you ladies all get your ad copy from the same "Online Dating For Dummies" book? Crimeny... look, I feel for you, really. Loneliness is a drag, Hendrix said so, but folks, you have got to relaaax. I hate to use a hoary old cliche', but you really can't hurry love, you just have to wait.
Does this mean I've deleted my ad? Of coruse not, because I'm a danged hypocrite.
Matt, NY
Talked to a really hot woman for about three weeks ....
through e-mail and on the phone and just couldn 't wait to meet her. Finally our schedules matched and we decided to meet at Red Lobster. I get to the parking lot first and wait. A car (the one she described) pulls up. When I see her behind the wheel my first thought is "oh God no."
A total liar about the way she looked. Actually over 300 pounds I swear! I thought the air bag on the stearing wheel had exploded cause her body was pressed all the way to the windshield. But i am hungry so i thought what the heck. So we go inside and order. The food comes. She is so fat that she can 't reach it so she picks up her ind of the table and sits it on her belly. My drink starts to slide off the table and I have to catch it or it will fall on the floor. After she wolfs down her plate of food she reaches over and grabs mine and says "you not gonna eat that? " Pulls it over and eats mine too.
I picked up the check, said good bye and went to McDonalds for a burger cause I was still hungry. Told her I was moving and couldn 't talk to her any more. Guess I am really shallow, and thank God. This really happened.
Corey, ATL
through e-mail and on the phone and just couldn 't wait to meet her. Finally our schedules matched and we decided to meet at Red Lobster. I get to the parking lot first and wait. A car (the one she described) pulls up. When I see her behind the wheel my first thought is "oh God no."
A total liar about the way she looked. Actually over 300 pounds I swear! I thought the air bag on the stearing wheel had exploded cause her body was pressed all the way to the windshield. But i am hungry so i thought what the heck. So we go inside and order. The food comes. She is so fat that she can 't reach it so she picks up her ind of the table and sits it on her belly. My drink starts to slide off the table and I have to catch it or it will fall on the floor. After she wolfs down her plate of food she reaches over and grabs mine and says "you not gonna eat that? " Pulls it over and eats mine too.
I picked up the check, said good bye and went to McDonalds for a burger cause I was still hungry. Told her I was moving and couldn 't talk to her any more. Guess I am really shallow, and thank God. This really happened.
Corey, ATL